During a recent presentation about referrals and networking, the subject came up about what to do when someone you meet doesn’t let you talk.
We were discussing a technique in which we begin by asking someone what they do for a living. The expectation being that after answer, they will return the favor and inquire about what we do. The question came up about what to do when that person doesn’t make that inquiry.
I'm not sure I did a good job of answering this question at the time, but I think you have two main choices, 1) force the issue or 2) cut bait and move on.
I say force the issue, but of course you need to have a professional way to go about it. In my experience, when someone doesn’t return the “what do you do” question, they usually are not comfortable with networking. So our first job is to make them more comfortable.
Start by asking permission to ask a question - “would it be ok if I ask you a question?”. Then give a short explanation of what you do, followed by your usual question(s) that you use to determine if this person is someone who may do business with you.
Every once in a while, you will run into someone who just isn’t interested in having a conversation. They may be interested in doing a lot of telling, but that isn’t a conversation. In these cases, you may just have to politely excuse yourself and move on. Excusing yourself may sound something like “I’m sure you came here to make contacts, so I won’t monopolize your time”.
Remember, the goal of networking isn’t to make a sale right then and there. Rather, you goal should be to identify people who look like the types of folks who may do business with you or are able and willing to introduce you to others who will.
